27 Comments
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Murray Laidlaw's avatar

Oh dear, maybe there should be chill out area near toothpaste so you can become Mr Cool before you venture down the minty green aisle.

It’s no better in the UK - endless choice, toothbrushes electric or manual, Tee-Pee brushes, where’s size 2? Or floss. Have you visited the wet shave razor shelves recently? Not sure you’re ready for those.

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Kevin Joyce's avatar

😹😹

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Jeff Feldman, MSW, LSW's avatar

I feel the same way about buying a new toothbrush. Some of them are so tricked out they look more like the cool new sneaker kids want than they do a dental hygiene implement. Stressful!

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Lynn's avatar

😂😂😂😂😬

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Eleni Rizopoulou's avatar

I think you have a thing for supermarket aisles 🤣 Love “the quiet army”, can we have one for shampoo also?

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Jane Stephenson's avatar

Thanks for brightening my...

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Fernanda Sezar's avatar

I absolutely love your sense of humour. I’m a huge fan of your articles 😊

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Marialena Gallagher's avatar

More toothpaste options than Starbucks drinks? 🧐

Not sure about that, but I just went to the dentist today. Basically I have to decide if I want braces again, after having them twice as a teenager.

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Chosen4Purpose's avatar

Every word I read was met with laughter. From the first line to the very end! You definitely have a way with words! Honestly I give up when it comes to figuring out which toothpaste would be the best! I just want fresh breathe and go about my day

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Manny Wolfe's avatar

You’ll never find more pernicious marketing than in the places you least expect it

Toothpaste is big money my friend, and with big money comes big marketing, and with big marketing comes the feelings you’re describing here

…but Utah? Why Utah?

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Harriet C.'s avatar

This reminded me of a neighbor who moved to the US from Romania as a young adult. He told us about him standing in the grocery store similarly confused by the shear amount of soaps available, not knowing which one to pick. :)

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Amantine Brodeur's avatar

I gave up on that fight Kevin- I went to a local 'organic store and opted for the least lethal looking brand. It turns out to be a German brand, so you'd assume their 'engineering' reputation would stand for something, only every so often the side seam of the tube bursts and it's a 'whitewash' and the basins are treated to an extra wash & wipe down and it's down to some ingenuity to keep the rest contained.

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Daniel Bell's avatar

I can understand the plight! It's like, you just want the right toothpaste to call to you within 5 minutes of being in the aisle. Then boom, you're done with it all and can check out happily.

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Candy Kennedy's avatar

I had to giggle reading this, Kevin! I stood in the toothpaste aisle just two days ago, unable to find old faithful (my usual paste), and ended up more and more confused. It seems toothpaste no longer does it all. We must purchase several varieties to get the balance in cleanliness. Great take with humor on this mess created for us!

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Rosemary Writes & Recovers 🌹's avatar

This was me in the sunscreen (suntan?) lotion aisle yesterday.

I looked.

I got overwhelmed.

I walked away.

Without any sunscreen.

It’s too much.

And.

It’s possible I’m a tad neurodivergent.

But hey. I’ll have a good tan -and…maybe some melanoma.

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Rob Riley's avatar

THAT was excellent, sitting here coming off of my first decaf buzz, dog is warming my foot and you have me glued to your essay. I like the flip top variety of lids the screw on/off is too much trouble in the shower. The Chinese made toothpaste is supposed to be dangerous, "from what I've heard", lol...Anyway, GREAT stuff. 😁

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Cynthia Bauman's avatar

"You burn the item and start a new life in Utah." 😂😂😂

Same! I hate the toothpaste decision! You are right... AIM was the bomb, back when we didn't know any better. But, maybe we did.

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